If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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