Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
