i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
