my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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