i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
