the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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