dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
