She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
