Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
