What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
