Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
