omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
