the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Houston, we have a blender
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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