I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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