Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
