the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
