physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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