Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
