halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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