just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
