I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
