we're chasing vodka with high fives
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
