my sisters under your porch take her home
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
