it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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