But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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