I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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