Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
