i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
