we have officially lost it.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
