Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
