So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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