Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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