u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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