sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
