My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
