He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
