hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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