Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
