This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
