I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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