whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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