What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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