I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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