You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
