If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
