i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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