Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
