she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
