Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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