If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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