Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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